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Self-worth is such an underrated mindset area for entrepreneurs and yet it’s crucial to your success. So crucial in fact that your level of self-worth directly correlates to your level of success. This is true for anyone, but double so for entrepreneurs because we put so much of ourselves into our businesses.
For those of you not completely sold on the link between the two, check out my post on why you should be investing in your self-worth, and then consider what I refer to as the ‘S’ factor:
The S Factor: Self-Worth Creates Success
At even a basic level there is a strong link between your self-worth and the level of wealth you’re able to generate, simply because your self-worth dictates your ‘worth threshold’. This is the amount of money you believe yourself to be worthy of receiving, and it creates a built-in upper limit in your business that can be tough to break.
In short, developing your self-worth opens you up to earning greater wealth.
Everyone has a worth threshold, but increasing your self-worth raises your worth threshold, pushing you upper limits around income increasingly higher and allowing you to create greater success.
As a result, the name of the game when it comes to creating abundance in your business is the ‘S Factor’: the success created by self-confidence.
But how exactly do you grow your self-worth?
How To Grow Your Self-Worth
The most important aspect of any attempt to grow your self-worth is to work on it consistently through self-development. It can feel frustrating, and you may be tempted to push yourself into big leaps, trying to talk yourself into feeling worthy of new levels of success and income before you’re mindset has caught up and is genuinely ready for them.
Aim to grow your self-worth by small amounts on a regular basis, little and often, rather than shooting for huge leaps in growth that prove to be unsustainable.
There are several great ways you can do this:
Get Out Of Bad Habits
Start to build your awareness of bad habits that are diminishing your self-worth. It’s easy to get stuck in negative mindsets, and often they’re so ingrained we don’t even consider them to be negative. Here are a few examples…
Draining The Well
Constantly taking care of everyone else at the expense of yourself feels like a very caring, nurturing thing to do. It comes naturally to a lot of people, and it’s really difficult to understand how being a caring person could ever be negative. But if you don’t build yourself up and nurture your own energy so that you’re strong enough to support other people, you’re not only hurting yourself you’re less capable of caring for them.
You run out of energy.
Your energy is like a well that everyone drinks from daily. There is a certain amount of water in that well, and when it’s gone, it’s gone. It will naturally replenish with time, but if you let people drain the well dry they will be left without water for days.
If, on the other hand, you are careful to let everyone have their fair share, while preserving a good level of water in the well, you ensure nobody ever goes thirsty – yourself included.
When you constantly give of yourself without ever taking the time to replenish the well, your energy dries up and you’re no good to anyone, but more than that, it’s an indication that (on some level) you believe other people are worth more than you are. That’s simply not true.
Being Thrifty – But Only With Yourself
Another example of a ‘you before me’ habit that is sabotaging your self-worth is when you will happily spend money on others, often giving them the best of the best, with no expense spared, but always going for the budget option for yourself.
You’re quite happy to buy all the latest designer gear, techno fads, and the best food when it’s for other people – your kids, friends, parents, other half…. But when you need something for yourself, you find you are trawling the bargain bins and thinking things like:
“I’ll find a cheaper version.”
“I don’t really need this.”
“I’d rather spend it on the kids/other half/my mum.”
This is an indication you don’t value yourself as highly as you do other people.
That’s not to say there’s anything wrong with hunting down a bargain!
But when it’s one rule for you and another (far more generous one) for everyone else, it’s an indication you need to work on your self-worth.
Always Listening, Never Speaking
We all have that one friend who’s incapable of allowing the conversation to be about anyone but themselves. Some people are just wired that way. But the majority of people at least try to make sure they listen as much as they talk, and pay as much attention to other people’s problems as they expect people to pay to their own.
It’s part of building relationships.
But just as some people are terribly self-absorbed, others are really uncomfortable talking about themselves, voicing their concerns or problems, or simply having a good long vent.
At the same time, they spend endless hours listening to other people complain, or simply talk about themselves.
Always listening, but never speaking. This is part of always taking care of other people at your own expense – if you’re absorbing all the negative energy in other people’s lives to help them feel better, that’s great, but you need an outlet for your own negative thoughts, feelings, and problems, and you deserve to be heard.
Stand Up For Yourself
Part of ensuring you are heard is standing up for yourself, and this can be a really tough one, especially if you hate confrontation.
We all have to deal with criticism and negative feedback from time to time, as well as situations in which people are treating us unfairly, or simply putting themselves first at our expense.
It’s an unavoidable part of life.
But there’s a limit to how much of it you can or should put up with, and it’s super-important to recognise the difference between as situation in which such negativity towards you is reasonable or warranted, and one in which it’s underserved and unnecessary.
For example, if you’ve done something wrong, made a mistake, or the person in question is experiencing mitigating circumstances and can’t control their own behaviour, it’s understandable that they might be critical or unkind.
Yet it’s very easy to assume all criticism is justifiable, especially if you have very low self-worth and are hardwired to always put others first. You just assume you deserve it without actually stopping to think about it.
You take it all on yourself when in reality, the issue lies with the other person.
They are the one at fault, but you are allowing yourself to suffer for it. Partly because you feel you deserve it, and partly because it will make the other person feel better to blame you. You allow it because it is, in a strange way, helping them. At your expense.
Are you sensing a theme here?
Standing up for yourself can be really tough, but if someone is unfairly negative towards you, it’s important to put them straight. It might be as simple as correcting something they say about you which is wrong, or telling them something they said or did was hurtful to you.
You don’t always need to get angry or negative in order to prevent negativity towards you.
Set Clear Boundaries
In business we can easily fail to stand up for ourselves when we have clients who are being completely unreasonable in their demands and we’re killing ourselves trying to accommodate them, when really we should be putting firmer boundaries in place.
Establishing clear boundaries will not only improve your self-worth, it will help your clients to value you more highly, and make you more productive and efficient.
That’s a win all around!
Here are a few simple ways you can set clear boundaries in your business:
- Establish working hours and stick to them.
- Only check your email once or twice a day, at set times, and never outside your working hours.
- Take regular time off, even if you’re buried in work (you’re no good to anyone suffering from burnout!).
- Include clear terms and conditions in your contracts and/or on your website, which outline what constitutes a ‘reasonable request’, and what doesn’t. Make it clear that anything falling outside the reasonable may not be possible, and will incur additional fees.
Be Positive In Your Self-Talk
Just as we all need to be heard, we also all have some form of self-talk going on. An internal voice that helps us think things through, plan what we’re doing, or simply observe what’s going on.
How often is your self-talk positive?
I’m willing to bet it can get quite negative at times. Does any of this sound familiar?
I’m failing at this.
I’m not good enough.
I’m not meant to be successful.
The universe is against me.
It’s natural to have the occasional passing negative thought, and self-criticism is a healthy part of learning and growing, but if you’re constantly being extremely negative in your self-talk, it’s a good indication you have low self-worth.
You literally have nothing good to say to yourself!
Breaking this habit and reframing negative comments to yourself as positives will go a long way towards boosting your self-worth, as well as helping you recognise when other people are being unfair to you, so you can speak up for yourself.
Join A Positive Community
Running your own business is tough, stressful, and can be lonely. It’s very easy for our self-worth to suffer when we have so much to do. Finding a community that understands the challenges of entrepreneurship as well as the financial aspects of running a business will really help.
Join in social groups where positive energy flows, ideas are nurtured, and self-worth thrives.
Create A Worthy Space
It’s probably not news to you that your internal life is often reflected in your external world.
When you’re stressed, rundown, or feeling ill, your house often gets markedly more untidy. Dishes go unwashed, floors rarely vacuumed, etc, things pile up because doing them requires more time or energy than you can muster.
The mess in your mind can easily transfer to a real life mess.
Likewise, when your house is untidy or unclean, or you’re in a workspace or environment that’s unpleasant, it can make you feel stressed.
The link between the internal and external is undeniable, so creating an environment for yourself that makes you feel valued and worthy is really important.
This can be as simple as carving out some space that is designated as your work space, converting the spare room into an office, or renting an office, but it can be a little more complex than that.
If you’ve been in business for any length of time you almost certainly figured out the need for space a while ago!
But how worthy is your work space?
Is it comfortable?
Does it allow you to do everything needed in a relaxed manner?
Is your equipment state-of-the-art or falling apart?
Do you have everything you need to do your work well and as efficiently as possible.
It’s really easy to invest in tangible assets for your business, the areas we neglect are often the things that will make life a bit easier for ourselves.
You will work at your best when your work space is designed to support you and make you as comfortable as possible and makes you feel valued.
If your external space values you, your internal world will have an easier time believing in your own worth.
For more help shifting into a more positive and successful mindset, download my money mindset mantras, or book a curiosity call to discuss how money mentoring can help you boost your self-worth and net worth.